Carnival for tea,breakfast and dinner

All I do is think about Carnival !!! Join me on the road to carnival 2k7

Name:
Location: Arima, Trinidad & Tobago

I love Carnival!!. Trinidad's carnival! Once a year my senses rejoice at the opportunity to douse my soul with intoxicating soca music, shed my cares and fears, and temporarily transfer my spirit into the mas. (S. Drakes)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Job Specification and Description for The perfect Carnival Male companion


I never played mas with a male I always play with my group of girlfriends and last night I was wondering exactly how it would be to play mas with a man. I began laying out some characteristics for a male mas companion and these are my specs..lol. Add some more to the list..lol

Reports to: To me and only me.

Qualifications

  • No armpit and chest hairs.
  • More than Five O levels would be an asset including woodwork.
  • Matching clean sneakers for his costume.
  • Muscles and well toned body is always an added attraction.
  • Excess sweat will also be used a criteria to judge ones suitability for the job position.
  • Must be skilled at massage
  • Applicants under 5feet will not be considered.

Skills and Abilities

  • A Flexible approach to Wining positions.
  • The ability to wine on own initiative.
  • Extraordinary wining ability is definitely an asset.
  • He must be able to hide his jealousy and therefore must not have a problem with me wining with another man or even gaping at anotherman.
  • Personal work planning and organisational skills is a definite asset.
  • The Ability to work under pressure is mandatory.
  • Must posses the skill of carrying around all my essentials and being happy simultaneously.
  • The ability to know when it is time for us to go our separate ways .
  • Must know when to give yuh space!
  • He must realize that one song is enough and that he must not go further unless asked.
  • Must be able to hold his liquor this function is mandatory as he has to be able to protect and serve if needed.
  • Must have good interpersonal skills even under the influence of alcohol.
  • Must have the foresight to know, in advance, when you need a drink, & hand an icy cold one to you.
  • Must posses the art of complimenting i.e he must compliment me on the way i'm winning, winning skills how much I turn him "ON" and how I look all throughout the day.

Work Experience: At least 20 years wining experience.. having played mas before is also an asset.

Working Conditions:
Exposed to some danger of injury and to disagreeable job conditions.

26 Comments:

Blogger saucydiva said...

LOL well I can say hubby fits these criteria here:

Reports to: To me and only me.

Qualifications

* No armpit and chest hairs.
* More than Five O levels would be an asset including woodwork.
* Matching clean sneakers for his costume.


Skills and Abilities

* A Flexible approach to Wining positions.
* The ability to wine on own initiative.
* He must be able to hide his jealousy and therefore must not have a problem with me wining with another man or even gaping at anotherman.
* The Ability to work under pressure is madatory.
* Must posses the skill of carrying around all my essentials and being happy simultaneously.
* Must be able to hold his liquor this function is mandatory as he has to be able to protect and serve if needed.
* Must have good interpersonal skills even under the influence of alcohol.


Poor soul cyar wine too good doh mind he does try hard and he eh ripped and muscled like dem men in yuh pic, but is ok, I like the lil belly even though he boasting it will be flat come Carnival.

Funny post!

Yuh forget he must know when to give yuh space!

10:08 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

Lawd that is an essential one.. leh meh add dah one.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Karabana said...

OM, "At least 20 years wining experience", hah hah hah... well, they do start young!
Since it's quite a wish list, you may add
~ must have the foresight to know, in advance, when you'll need a drink, & hand an icy cold one to you.
~ Must be skilled at massage.

10:43 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

hahaha karabana...i think is realistic enough..lol

10:46 AM  
Blogger Icahwait* said...

LOL hmmmnnn ahm kevian where this post fall i line with you double standards post back in oct or sept eh?(i tried looking can't find it)

11:31 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

Ah throw away the evidence!!...lol

On a serious note though this is jus the ideal situation but you know my views and alot of them were expressed in that post..lol

I cah wait yuh sharp too bad!!

11:44 AM  
Blogger Bagogyul said...

Love it Kevian,add this:
"Must compliment me on the way i'm winning, winning skills and how much I turn him "ON" all throughout the day!"

11:49 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

hahahaaa bagogyuL .. dies ah good one. Plus he have to compliment u on the way u look all day long..lol

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Triniqueen said...

Ha ha!! Girl , good luck findin dah one, oui! But dat post real decent, though. Bless dear. One month and a week to go before ah come dong!!!!!!!!

12:37 PM  
Blogger caisoqueen said...

hehehe...great post. How bout, must fetch my lunch at Tribe park and massage my feet and back during de break.

1:40 PM  
Blogger kevian said...

Triniqueen I was also about to leave my number for serious enquires only.. but ah change meh mind..lol because I feel no one might be suitable for the postion, expect saucy husband.. who is already taken..lol.

hehe caiso..good one on de massage feet thing during de break..hahaha, but i eh wah no man fetch meh lunch .. i wanna choose meh own thing

1:54 PM  
Blogger saucydiva said...

Kevian mine eh fit the bill, he cyar wine ah tell yuh ;)

3:34 PM  
Blogger kevian said...

When yuh say he cah wine, wah yuh mean.. he ent have no timing..lol. i hope he doh be reading this blog..poor hubby..lol.

4:36 PM  
Blogger saucydiva said...

he does peep the other blogs but hardly check comments :D

Yeah he have a lil timing eh,especially if he dancing with me but to see him trying to wine by himself is a joke! ha h a!

5:23 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

haha, saucy.. yuh make meh buss out ah hard laugh in work...ROFL!!

5:44 AM  
Blogger pearlprincess said...

Oh Lord Kevi!!! What ah list!...I especially like the,

"He must be able to hide his jealousy and therefore must not have a problem with me wining with another man or even gaping at anotherman."

But yuh know is have woman who is want to dance with one set ah man but their man cah wine on nobody else right!

5:59 AM  
Blogger Hottie Hottie said...

Oh LORD! Post girl, post! Ah nearly dead with the "woodwork" qualification. I doh know if is what yuh had in mind but my mind went real far. But I want tertiary level education in dat oui.

8:18 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

Pearl true eh .. but it have some senstive on out dey who does real get to yuh..lol

Hottie gyal.. i was going and put tertiary level education but i thought i was raising the bar to high for a voluntary post..hahaha.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol

Kevian u are asking for a lot there...that brother doesnt exist!
no man wants to hold ya things during Carnival!

Also i like ya comment about "giving ya sapce"....i agree with you....but i not you know its a 2-way street..lol. I hope the guy is able to thief a wine on a next one or two or three or four women! :-)

You should write the MALE version to this post.....here's #1

1) Ladies leave the wigs/weave home for Carnival....braids are acceptable!

3:29 PM  
Blogger kevian said...

lol annon 3:29 am watch your mouth this blog is filled with ladies..lol. Yeah the space thing is a two way street but never everything is fair in life..lol

3:43 PM  
Blogger saucydiva said...

Kevian the MALE version sounding good! LOL.. come on and write it nah :D

4:13 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

Saucy like yuh ready meh mind but I was thinking I eh want to offend meh readers..lol. Next minute ah say no weave or contacts and ah get blow out..lol. I will still keep it in meh prayers..lol

I have one in the making but the perfect female companion for the female crew.

5:08 AM  
Blogger Crankyputz said...

Great Post Girlie...High expectations....but hey a girls gotta have standards.

However, I believe the job title should be more "Carnival Slave" rather than "carnival Man"


Also clarification needed: Is he allowed to wine up other women in your vicinity, or is he supposed to docily look on as you handle your business???

Either way, when you get applicants for the position, clone me a copy.....yes?

7:00 AM  
Blogger kevian said...

I am a good sport and I believe he could wine on a couple ladies..lol. Surely I will send u a copy..lol

9:36 AM  
Blogger Karabana said...

You know, we know just the man to write the male version of this wish list: DOUGLA!!

4:58 PM  
Blogger kevian said...

actually when i was coming home i was thinking who i could ask..lol next time I see him on the blog i will ask him..lol. Ur hubby might be a good candidate to wrtie one too..lol.

1:12 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home